Thanksgiving

I'm sorry I haven't posted in the last week. It was a hectic week at school with midterms and I was also ashamed with the way I've been eating and training. My downfall started when I didn't have any more prepared meals at home. I didn't have anything for lunch so I told myself I would buy something at school. The problem was temptation got the best of me. The sandwiches looked so good compared to the salad. I made the wrong decision and got the sandwich. And it just kept getting worse. I treated myself to a pumpkin spice latte at starbucks when I knew I shouldn't. It was the start of a downward spiral.

Every day I tried to stop the cycle. I would start the day off right but then as soon as I started to study or I felt tired, I started to snack. I snacked on nuts, cereal, and even some gold fish. I couldn't control myself and stop the urge to eat. It continued all week and then I couldn't stop it right before thanksgiving. There would be so much food! It was impossible not to eat all the food in front of me: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie. I gave in and it was delicious! At least I gave myself smaller portions with this meal.

I'm an emotional eater and I need to learn to control it. It's a difficult habit to stop. I need to start by realizing when I'm eating because I feel like it and not because I need to. I need to stop the snacking and stick to my plan. If not, I'll never reach my goal of becoming a fitness model.

Today, I made the decision to stop and get myself back on track. I'm depressed that I'm not making much process yet I allow myself to snack uncontrollably? That's not going to help the situation. It's making it worse and its making me feel worse.

I decided to start a cleanse tomorrow. I want to try to do a 4 day juice cleanse to clean out my system and start over fresh. I've never done a juice cleanse before so I'm curious to try it. I'm only going to do four days because I don't know how I'll be able to handle it and if it'll work. I went to get all my fruits and veggies today. I'm actually really excited to try it. I hear it works well and I hope it works for me! I need to get myself back on track.