In Need Of A Little Motivation

I need your help. I need to regain a little motivation. I don't know how. I've tried a lot of things so far. I've read other fitness blogs. I've posted pictures in my room and on my phone of fitness models. I tried posting a calendar in my room and tracking my diet and workouts. I've tried setting short term goals for myself. I don't know how to get back the motivation I had this summer.

I think one of the biggest problems I have is that this fitness competition is no longer my biggest priority. I have so many other things going on: school, my internship, work, and homework that training is put on the back burner. When I get home, I'm tired or I have homework to do so I don't go to the gym. I have different priorities now. If I go to the gym, I have less time for homework while if I focus on my work, I'm too tired for the gym. It's hard to find the right balance.

I also need to get rid of the cheats I have on the weekend. It seems I can't stick to my diet on the weekend since I don't have a regular schedule. During the week, the thought of cheating doesn't cross my mind. I'm so strong and determined to stick to my meal plan. On the weekend, however, that voice in my head disappears and nothing stops me from eating what I want. I don't know how to fix that. I don't know why I've been able to stick to my plan to not drink any alcohol for a year and resist temptation without any problem but I can't resist the urge to have dessert on the weekend. I need to learn to resist temptation.

My goal is to lose weight. It's not easy. I'm going to do it through a good diet and exercise. I know I can do it. I always achieve any goal I set for myself. I just have to start reminding myself that my goal is too lose weight. I'm not going to be able to do it without dieting. My boyfriend brought up an interesting idea that might help with my motivation: the fear of failure. I don't want to fail at this. If I keep cheating, I'm going to fail. I'm not going to achieve my goal and I won't be able to compete as a fitness model. I also have to start asking myself before I eat anything I'm not supposed to, is this going to help me achieve my goal? Is it worth it? I hope it helps and I re-gain motivation. I'm open to ideas that you may have as I'm in a bit of a funk right now.